An artist must suffer
by Emmi
Summary: My first Citc fic. When Richard discovers how much Caroline does mean to him.


Disclaimer: Classy stuff, can't belong to a L.A. like me... Oh yeah I wrote this for my English paper (yr 11) so don't blame me if it sux, blame the big 'A' ENJOY!! Love u Caz & Rich (not as much as u love each other but!! 8 ] An Artist must suffer ~Emmi*~ (Mizzy_me@start.com.au) An artist must always suffer for his work, it is one of the greatest tragedies in the world. Sweetness, innocence and everlasting happiness are not what makes a great painting - but the expression of aggression and depression; or so Richard assumes. AS Richard rolled over he caught a glimpse of the short brunette who lay beside him and he knew he was truly happy, he had the one thing in his life which he had worshipped for so long from afar - this what had made his are passionate and powerful. Although he was now at a loss as to what he would paint now. "An artist is supposed to be miserable." Richard whispered into the cold morning air, no t wanting or willing to wake the innocent and naive, sleeping Caroline. Climbing from the bed he shivered as his feet touched the cold wooden boards which made up his floor. Treading softly he padded towards the stack of paintings carefully and strategically placed to face to wall. Turning them towards him he took several steps back and admired his previous works. Walking to his first painting he caressed it with his fingertips and expressed his thoughts out loud. "Caroline : My boss, my soulmate." He smiled as he said it but continued on with his soliloquy. "The moment I saw your sweet, lingering smile and the never fading cheerfulness of your voice." He squatted in front of the pictures and began again. "I owe all my art to you... Just look around..." He gestured to the aray of artworks, but it was only the brisk morning air whch took any notice. "I painted these all for you. I suffered because I was in love with you and while I was suffering, I painted." Standing slowly, as if unsure of his feet, Richard moved to the next painting and looked at the abstract qualities that fell under its title. "Caroline: In love with another man." The hurt that he had felt on the day he painted this work struck him like a lightening bolt and he felt himself weaken at the knees and the overwelming desire to sit overcome him and so he sat silently on the hard wooden floor. "The pain became too much to bear and I was forced to the depths of despair." Richard sat in silence for a few moments, unable to express himself, unable to think. After several minutes stouped over, with his head in his hands, Richard felt the urge to go on and did so quickly. "Thank you - for my sorrow, for my inspiration, thank you for my art." A small side step and Richard reached the next painting. Looking over it several times he felt grief and once again began to talk as though it was halving his problem. "Caroline: Marries another man." The title became too much for a man like Richard to stand and he allowed himself to become vunerable and 3 tears fell before he had even realised. "It is my best painting of all - I was truly suffering and suffering is what artists and I do best." With an undescribable passion, Richard assembled his easel and began work on a new canvas. It was several hours before he was nearing completion, but he was not worried over the time he spent on painting, but rather he wished, for the first time ever, to watch the beautiful sun rise over New York city. Richard took several steps back and placed the painting beside the others, when he felt stong arms embrace his waist. "Caroline, what do you think?" Richard led her towards the paintings and she studied the swirls of black, red and grey which covered the first three canvases and then finally coming on the last painting with the delicate mix of yellows, white and pinks she turned to Richard and said. "I love the agression and raw emotion in the first three, but it is in the final artwork which shows your compassion, care and tenderness, and it is that which I find the most powerful." Richard looked at her and smiled happily. "Of course, I call it Caroline: And Richard together, forever." He bend down and looked into her eyes. "I love you Caroline, for it is you who gives me this inspiration to paint and it is you who taught me that it is no absolutely necessary for an artist to suffer, and is no longer an issue with me." Entwined in each others arms they realise that this was true contentment. THE END Comments please!!! Good or Bad. I am expecting bad coz the "A" only gave me 7/15 for it!!! RRRRRRRR 8 [ 


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